rip yourself open, sew yourself shut.

fuck off lol

Oh… Umm, I don’t know what this is in response to, but that’s not very nice lol.

I don't know. I wish you would find the strength to tell him to get his act together. From the outside, it looks really egoistical of him to string you along like a backup plan in case of his marriage with his regular doesn't work as expected. I mean, no one deserves to be hurt or treated that way. Even if he doesn't know where to stand, he should not leave you in that spot for such a long time.

Thank you for your concern, really. But at this point I don’t really care, there’s no one else I’m really interested in, but when there is I’ll go ahead with them.
I don’t know what I want as much as he does. And I’m only ever a friend to him, I’ve never initiated any of the longing looks, or intimate hugs, or our brief rendezvous. I don’t go out of my way to do those things, because I do acknowledge that he’s off-limits.
However, I will say that if things don’t work out with his fiancé, I wouldn’t hold back.

Very confusing signals indeed… or no, that would be the part where I would run away. But I guess you're hooked.

I am, unfortunately. Again, the mixed signals are pretty much all that’s keeping me there right now. He even explicitly told me a couple days ago that the closer the wedding gets, the more he’s doubting it.

Also, there’s just a ridiculous amount of tension between us. The kind that even though you know you should be going home you just can’t leave the person you’re with? Or it feels like you need to make a move, but you can’t read them so neither of you does a thing?

So the guy you're interested in is engaged/married? /just-making-conversation

Yes, he is just recently engaged.

Part of me feels like an awful person for still going after him, but he did kiss me after telling me, and has continued to flirt and hang out with me since then so it’s all on him at this point…